Scenic City Triathlon

Race day finally arrived. The funny thing was that I found myself really anxious and nervous leading up to the race. I can only believe it was facing the fear of what happened in New Orleans. In fact, I couldn't sleep the night before. I was out like a baby before Ironman and I can't sleep before a sprint. Some things I will never understand.

I spent most of the week providing positive reinforcement for my mindset. I knew it was a low key race falling on a BIG race weekend for most of the southeast. Given this, I knew the race wouldn't draw a deep field of talent. So I used this to my advantage. My goal was simple--to win the race. :) No pressure. Joking aside, I wanted to give it 100% for the entire race. And if that puts me in the front great...I would love to lead off the bike.

Jess and I drove to Chattanooga Saturday afternoon, picked up our packets and drove the course before retiring to our hotel. Morning finally arrived and I was ready to go. I ate a banana and clif bar while sipping on gatorade. Transition was open racking so I was determined to be the first there. We were the third car to arrive and I was the first bike on the rack, right where I wanted to be.

I was feeling good Sunday morning. I was loose but very focused. I took my shot of caffeine and a gel around 7 and then headed down to the water. I made sure to swim for about 10 minutes to get warmed up. The lake temp was perfect at 67 degrees. What I really love about these low-key races is the informal nature of them. There was no grand swim start. Instead, the race director yelled go. Then did it again. Finally he hit the air horn because no one was listening. Awesome.

I lined up to the far right on the front. My goal was to go hard for 600m. I wanted to come out of the water with the lead pack. Fortunately, I heard the second yell from the race director so I hit the water early and got out in front. I was sighting to my left and slowly inched over to hang with the lead pack through the first turn buoy. Somewhere over the next 50m they began pulling away. I was killing myself and nearly panic.

I made the second turn and settled into an aggressive pace but could tell that I was leading the second pack. Not good. The best position is the 2nd position. Let someone else do the work. So I slowed and let the pack come around me. I grabbed what feet I could and continued to swim beyond my ability.

I came out of the water winded and dizzy. Whew. I had never pushed that hard. The run to transition was brutal (think Emerald Point). I was sluggish going up the hill and had all kinds of trouble getting out of my wetsuit. What's up with that? As I began to reach transition I saw the leaders starting the bike. I could tell that I was probably top-15 at this point.

I found my gear and jumped onto the bike. It began downhill so I allowed myself the free speed to get adjusted. The goal for the bike was to hammer and catch everyone. Coach Dan recommended 240-260 watts for me. I just went and went hard. In the first 10 minutes I caught three people. The bike was 14 miles. I was just hoping that I could hang on that long.

I will say that the course was probably the hardest sprint course I have ever done. There were 5-6 solid hills and at that pace, you had no choice but to hammer out of the saddle. I did play it smart and dropped to small chain ring to climb up the hill. I noticed that the small pack of riders would draw closer as I climbed but I dropped them immediately on the other side of the hill. At the 20 minute mark, I knew I was still on pace for a good ride.

The back half of the course had two nice hills. The last one was brutal and dropped my cadence to about 50. Poor beginners. Jess said she saw dozens of athletes walking their bike up the hill. I didn't seen anyone. The last 6 miles were really lonely. I could see one guy about a 1/2 mile in front of me but I wasn't gaining on him enough. On the final 4 miles, I dropped the hammer and just gave it my all. I was feeling REALLY strong. Of course, I wondered if I would pay for it on the run.

I took a few peeks behind me and there was no one. I had a pretty good idea of where I was in the race. I hit transition and saw only 4 bikes. Sweet!. I grabbed my headband and wristbands (kicking it 80s style for the race) and bolted out of the transition.

I hit the run and felt the legs. I really wanted to have a good run in this race but wasn't sure it would happen after that bike. This run course was killer. It was nothing but rollers and was very technical. You started off downhill and took a hard left that required you to stop your momentum over the loose gravel. Then back up the hill and more hills.

I didn't see a soul for over a mile. No one behind me, no one in front of me. At about 1.3 miles, I saw the leader and then 3 more guys about 20s behind him. I realize at this point I was in 5th place. I just needed to hang on....I knew I wouldn't catch these guys. At another sharp turn, I saw 2 guys behind me. The first guy caught me about a minute later. I turned it up another notch...doing whatever I could to keep the next guy off.

I cleared 2 miles and tried to push with whatever I could. At 2.5 there was another big hill (it clearly broke everyone). My plan was to get to the top and then let it all out for the next 3 minutes. Imagine my surprise when I get to the top and POOF the finish line. Course was short by 1/3 of a mile. Someone forgot to put a cone out and every athlete except one cut the course. I really can't say that I am upset. I didn't want anymore hills.

Official results aren't posted. I took 1st in the 30-34 age group and likely about 7th overall. Once all that gets posted, I will blog about it. Overall, I am thrilled. Not overly excited about winning my age group. Instead, I am more excited about pushing the race so hard. I just need to learn how to run off the bike. I need to shave a few minutes off my 5k to be really competitive. But for now, I will enjoy my moment. :)

It's Race Week

WOOT WOOT!

I have a small sprint on the calendar this weekend I couldn't be more excited. It will be the first time Jess and I have ever raced together too!!!

I am a little sad that I am not racing down in Atlanta with all my friends but I realized after registering for the race that if fell on the same weekend as her birthday. So I scrambled to find another race that would suffice. Low and behold I found a small one just outside of Chattanooga. It is 600m, 14 mi, 3.1 mi.

The best part is that it is a low key, local race. There might a few hundred people IF that. I really love these small races because they aren't events. (Plus they give an inflated perspective of how fast you really are).

The other day when I was up at All3, I met a couple that were both doing the race. The husband had raced it the last two years. He loves it. Said it provides just enough of a challenge that some competition comes back but it is easy and encouraging enough for beginners.

I don't have any real strategy for the race (because Dan hasn't given me a race plan). So my expectation are to give it 100% for the 75-80 minutes it should take me. I need to swim like a shark is chasing me. Ride like it is the Tour. And run as if being chased.

The only thing I care about this weekend it putting together a good run. NO sandbagging. I honestly would like to run sub-7s. I don't know if that will happen. But I need to run and feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest.

Week of Testing Complete

Despite not getting in my long run yesterday, I completed the week of testing and I am still intact. I should take it as a good sign that my body adapted and doesn't feel crushed. Though, my massage therapist last night asked me if I had participated in the running of the bulls since my body felt trampled. I guess I expected a lot worse.

As mentioned in my previous blog, I rode at Columns for my 20 minute Time Trial to determine my new FTP. Aside from the blood, I had a great ride and my numbers took a giant leap. The first time I ever tested was back in September after returning from Belgium. I grinded out the test in Dan's basement and averaged 250 watts. I turned around a month later and produce 240 on a hilly time trial. Then 2 months ago, I was only able to squeek out 225 at the Tundra Time Trial. The numbers for Tundra weren't that surprising given that I hadn't cycled much outside of Hawaii.

I anticipated a bit of a bump on the new FTP test. I realistically thought I would be in the margin of about 250. I thought it would be awesome to be as strong as I was when I was peaking for IM FL. Hopefully that is a good equation for success later this year. I can't say that I was shocked after the test when the numbers registered was 260 watts. That is a 13% increase from two months ago.

• 20' TT 8.01 miles 24.01 mp, Avg 260 watts, 3.43 w/kg

On Friday, I had to return to Columns to complete a V02 test. Along with the FTP, this is shorter test that allows for more analysis in developing my power zones and power potential. The test is similiar but instead of pacing a bit for 20' time trial, it is all out for 5 minutes. This time it was sans blood. I managed to average 320 watts....thus indicating I have plenty of room to raise my FTP over the next few months.

• 4:49, 2.04 miles, 25.4 mph, Avg 320 watts, 4.25 w/kg

So what does all this mean? Well that is why I pay Dan, lol. Basically it indicates that from a strength perspective I am as strong of a rider as I was back in October when I was peaking for IM FL. It also indicates I still have room for improvement. I am thrilled about the 30 watt jump but I am also VERY realistic. It isn't surprising to see such gains early in the season. However, the work it will take to get the next 30 watts out of my legs will be brutal. Each improvement from here will take a whole lot more hard work. Ideally, by the end of the season, I would like to get my FTP up to about 300w. Sounds like Columns and I will be good friends this year.

FTP Testing....to a new level

There are many times in life when I wish a camera did not catch me doing something. Yesterday was not one of those days. I only wish a camera was present to watch my FTP test unfold.

I headed up to Columns yesterday to take on another series of bike tests to determine my training zones. This was the first real test of the year. The only other time I have taken my power numbers for zones was from the Tundra Time Trial. I was certainly hoping to see a nice 10% bump in power from all the training the last two months.

The protocol is simple, warm up for about 20 minutes, 10 more riding a bit harder and then 20 minutes all out and finally a cool down. The difficulty is sustaining maximum effort for 20 minutes. You have to make sure you don't go out too fast but you can't sand bag the effort. The moniker that best describes it is that you need to have snot flying and tongue hanging out type effort.

Well I think I took that to the next level.

Yesterday was sunny but still a bit chilly. The radio reported 58 degrees so I may have been a bit under dressed for the ride. I got through my warm up just fine and began to mentally prepare for gutting out 20 minutes of 100% effort. A few minutes in, I was feeling the burn and it felt so good.

The thing about 100% effort is that you bypass taking in water. You stick in aero position and just grind. As for the snot...it was flying. It really amazes me how much mucus builds when you are going really hard. And then it happened. I guess a capillary or blood vessel burst in my nose when I cleared it.

I thought people were looking at me funny because I was going so hard out there. Nope. I thought my nose was running just a bit. Nope. It was bleeding. Not quite a river of blood but a small tributary running from my right nostril down to my mouth. I refused to acknowledge it and wait until the next turnaround.

When I reach turnaround, I wipe my nose and realize that it is a bit more blood than I originally thought. And wiping it only smeared it on my hands and face. Still no time to stop, I began pushing even more. I tend to clinch my teeth/jaw when I push hard on the bike. And wouldn't you know, I bite my lip. Now I have blood in my mouth. My spit is red too.

I finish my 20 minutes and began to cool down. A cyclists asks if I am ok. I can just laugh about it at this point. I can only imagine what it looked like to other people. So I am adopting a new moniker....no more pushing until the snot is flying. Push until you make yourself bleed. Now...if only there was a camera out there.

Weekend Musings

Not a whole lot to report here. I did as I said and cut out most of my training last week. I think it did a body good. I got in a couple of runs during the week. On Saturday I went up to Columns for an hour and grinded it out for a few laps. Sunday, I went for a 6 mile run. My body didn't feel great but my pace was swift.

In other news, I purchased some new kicks. My readers may remember my love affair with Asics Gel-Kayano. I went through 6-7 pairs of these shoes and probably close to 2000 miles. Well the affair is over. In fact it was over in January. I visited my favorite store Big Peach to discuss going a different route. We determined that the stability shoe was possibly giving me TOO much stability thus forcing my foot outward. The outward motion contributed to my ITBS situation. So I switched over to a more neutral shoe and poof many of the ITBS problems have gone away. GRRRR...

Fast forward a few weeks and it was time to purchase another pair of shoes. I am generally pleased with my Saucony Progrid Guide. However, I wanted to review all my options. I ended up buying two pairs of shoes. The Saucony Progrid Guide 2 and the Nike Zoom Structure Triax. I have decided that unless I find a shoe I love this year that I am going to mix it up a bit. I hope to purchase a pair of Zoot shoes in the next few weeks. My thoughts are that since I am not perfectly happy, why settle? Each of the shoes are slightly different and will work different muscles. Barring any pain, this should make me a stronger runner.

On another note, I have a bit fit for this week. Heading up to All3 to check out the Retul system. I am a bit skeptical but I trust Matt. He has fit me before. Hopefully he can position me better while increasing my wattage. And if he can take some pressure off of my right hip and ITBS then great.

I am still pondering Gulf Coast. I think I want to see how I respond to training this week before making the final determination. Coach Dan has me testing this week so it will be interesting to see where my numbers fall. I certainly believe they will be UP from the last test. And in other news, I will be racing just outside of Chattanooga in two weeks. It is just a small sprint. Hopefully it will be fun.

Redemption

Given Sunday's disappointment, I am finally at peace with everything that took place. As I move past a bad day I am focused on what next. What do I feel is in my best interests for the rest of the season?

I am taking this week off. I am going to train when I want. I went to the pool the other day to stretch out some. The weather is nice so I plan on taking in a run or a ride. I think I might dust off my road bike tonight and just cruise around town. Nothing stressful. The key is that I want to mentally reset. After my mental breakdown, I want to ensure that I am ready to move forward before I jump into 10-12 hours a week training.

The positive of NOLA is that my body is not trashed. I am fully recovered and could physically handle the intensity. Given this, I can't help but to wonder if I should sign up for Gulf Coast HIM. It is a month away. I wouldn't be able to peak for it but I could carry my fitness into it just fine. And, more importantly, it would provide me the opportunity to redeem myself. But that is exactly the problem.

I am spending a lot of time thinking about my motivation for the race. Is it to actually go out and have a good race or am I out to prove something to myself and other people. As it currently stands I think it is the later. After getting burned for misguided motivation, I can't help but to think that is the wrong reason to race.

Part of me gets excited about the prospect of racing. I think I can use my defeat as internal motivation to push myself in the race. I have used anger in the past to push through difficult periods. I also know the course and have fond memories of my triumph at IMFL.

The other part of me is straight scared. Scared that it will happen again. Scared of facing failure. The other night I drew a parallel to when I had my bike wreck. I remember how hard it was to get back on that bike again. I remember how hard it was to trust that bike again. I remember how hard it was to go down a sizeable hill. The race feels much of the same. I just don't know if I am ready to get on that bike again.

If I do make the decision to race Gulf Coast it needs to be for all the RIGHT reasons. I need to ensure that I can go out there a race it properly. I need to know that sub-5 can still be a goal but that it isn't the end of the world. I need to know that if it is windy that day, I can adjust and deal with it. Right now, I can only make half-convincing assumptions that it won't happen again. Being aware of my shortcomings/failures/weaknesses are vital to moving forward on this journey. But if there is a crack in the foundation then it might not serve me well to race again until I know that I am ready.

How the Levees Broke

As I have stated, I am not interested in pointing fingers or making up excuses for what happened on Sunday. I could easily hide behind the story of knee pain and say I was too scared to reinjure myself. But that is too much of a stretch. The reality is that I let my mindset beat me. My tough and rigid mentality crumbled.

Now that I have had some more time to analyze things, I am starting to understand WHY it happened. How was I capable of just giving in to failure and what do I do to prevent it from happening in the future?

1. Misguided motivation

This is the most obvious failure on my end. And to make matters worse, I have blogged about it before (here). I was motivated for all the wrong reasons. I put too much pressure on myself for this race that it left me NO room for failure. That isn't to say that I don't think I am capable of racing sub-5. However, what happened on Sunday was that I had no concept of not meeting my goal. I was SO motivated by a sub-5 race that it became a dealbreaker. An all or none proposition.

The sad thing is that I never saw this coming. For whatever reason, I was letting that time dictate everything. Extrinsic motivation was leading this wagon. In my mind there was no happiness or pleasure in pushing the swim, bike or run 100% only to go 5:02. And that is so wrong. If I give something 100% and fall short of a goal that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I can only give what my body will allow me.

2. Losing Sight of the Bigger Goal

Building on above, I completely lost sight of the goal. The goal for the SEASON is to get faster at the half-iron distance. Instead, I put all my eggs in one basket. I put it all on black and spun the wheel. For some reason, I made this race a defining one. Instead, it should have been simply my first race of the season. I needed to let it be just that...a baseline. Instead, I went out expecting to throw a complete game shutout on opening day instead of pitching a great game and securing a victory.

3. Racing with power for the first time

This was the first time I have ever truly raced with power. The times before were all out efforts where I didn't have to monitor my numbers. While I would fully expect training to take care of this issue, I never realized how taxing it is to race while being a slave to my numbers. I had a very narrow window. My eyes were locked on those numbers for 2.5 hours. It required more mental concentration than I have ever demonstrated.

In training, I had two primary long workouts. First was 2.5 hours with about 50% in z3. The other was 3x30' in z3. Both of them are race simulations training exercises. I never had trouble keeping my wattage during the training rides. But my mind did wander a lot in training. And when it did the numbers dropped. During the race it was the opposite. The amount of concentration it took to stay at my numbers was more than I was prepared for. It drained me both physically and mentally.

4. I quit before it was quitting time

Again, this is a place where I simply know better. How many of us start out on our long training runs and find the first two miles the hardest. It is when our body is not responding. And then like magic, the body responds and you take off. Amanda Lovato, on her 70.3 race this weekend, said "It goes to show, anything can happen in a longer race. Sometimes you just have to wait it out and let it work itself out."

She is dead on right. I gave up before my body had a chance to respond. My first mile was 8:47. Is that bad? It was to me when I was supposed to run 8:00. Nevermind that I have never run 8:47 at that distance. Nevermind that I didn't believe Dan when he said I would run 8:00. Nevermind that my personal race plan had me running 8:30s for the first two miles. Instead, I didn't like it. It pissed me off. And I gave in. I will never know if my body would have responded. Maybe it wouldn't have. Maybe I would end up walking 13.1 miles. Or maybe it would have responded and allowed me to run what I wanted. I will never know.

5. I didn't adjust

The swim was no doubt a bit long. Looking at the pro times, everyone seemed to be 3-4 minutes slower than normal. This makes sense now. But I didn't make this adjustment on race day. Would I be anymore content going 5:02 knowing that the course was a bit long? Well I would still be irritated but probably a bit more at peace with things. Second, I didn't adjust to the conditions of the race. I couldn't push the bike like I wanted in the wind. This, like above, culminated in defeating me mentally instead of pushing me.

The odd thing is that riding 2:37 is an 8 minute pr for me. My overall speed was extremely competitive. Instead, all I could focus on was that the winds of the course were beating me down and not letting me go as fast as I wanted. Jess reminded me that I was the second person back to my rack. I didn't even notice this. Normally that would excite me because I would have an idea how my bike compared to the rest of the field I see this now that I look at the results. All I could see was that there was no way I would make sub-5. I never adjusted mentally to anything in the race.

Finally, things didn't go my way. That morning, I didn't have an edge. I was never in the zone. I was extremely irritable instead of relaxed. I did things differently. I listened to my ipod instead of the sounds in transition. I didn't go for a small jog. Everything was a bit off for a very routine based person. My 5 hour energy drink didn't kick in like I planned for it. I was hot on the course and really hot when I started running.

In the end, each of these had a negative impact on me for the day. The bulk of what I experienced was a result of #1 & #2. I never once gave any thought to what would happen if I had a bad race. I wasn't prepared. Instead, I was ONLY focused on making that giant leap from a good athlete to a great one. In my world, failure wasn't an option. So when I realized failure, in the sense of not going sub-5 was the only option, I crumbled. Everything was sapped right out of me.

But in retrospect, I did accomplish what I set out to do. I said that I needed a race to teach me a lesson. I just didn't think there would be several lessons and a DNF. Humbling experiences are sometimes the most important ones. I think it is fair to say that I learned a lot from this experience. It is a guilt that I have to live with. The key will be applying theses lessons moving forward so that the next time the thought of quitting enters my head, it isn't an option.

NOLA 58.4

(though I didn't finish the race, I am going to still produce a race report. I am going to attempt to write it from the perspective of a race report as if I did finish. I will then come back in later blogs and fill in more about what happen).

I headed out of Atlanta Thursday night for Birmingham to stay with my parents before heading down to New Orleans. Friday morning, my mother and I began making the six hour journey through rural Mississippi down I-59. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast on the northwest side of the French Quarter.

That evening I went to pick up Jess and attend a mandatory athletes meeting. This was the most absurd thing I have ever had to do in this sport. They would not let you pick up your race packet unless you attended one of these meetings. To make matters worse, they didn't discuss anything substantial. In fact, they gave out bad information such as saying NO garmins were allowed on the run. WTF? (reports later said he correct himself. Oops for the 300 athletes in one meeting). So packet pickup took nearly 2 hours and left me in a cranky mood. We I got back to the hotel I went for a small run to shake out the legs. That night we found an Italian restaurant where I had some fettuccine pesto with shrimp.

I managed to get a really good nights sleep and meandered around the B&B for a while. I went to pick up Tony 2Goggs and headed up to the lake for a brief workout. The lake was fine. Temperatures were good. The downside was there was NO visibility. I mean maybe 18 inches. I swam for about 15 minutes. I even jumped on a guys feet and still couldn't see them. No worries....just swim by feel. Later that afternoon, I returned to transition to drop off my bike. I must say that it was the largest transition I have ever seen. With nearly 3000 participants, transition seemed to span nearly a dozen parking lots. I am not exaggerating when I say that my rack was the furthest from the swim entrance and run exit. It felt like a quarter of a mile, lol.

I tried to stay off my feet that night but it really isn't possible in New Orleans. We walked down to a pizza joint and grabbed dinner before retiring to the room where I stayed up watching the Tar Heels play.

The alarm went off at 4:30 and I was out of bed without any problem. I was giddy as always as I bounced around the room. I ate a banana and an untoasted bagel, then drowned myself with an ensure. Yummy...breakfast of champions. Then it was time to head to transition.

I got to transition and settled pretty easily. I put my stuff down, said hello to Desiree and decided to get out of there. I never see the point of obsessing about things in transition. It only makes you more nervous. Since the swim was a point-to-point, they had shuttles heading down to the swim start. The problem was that you still had a long walk from the drop off to the start. Next time I will bring an extra pair of shoes.

I hopped in the water for a few minutes to warm up. The sun was barely up so the visibility was nil. I seriously couldn't see my hand under water. I made my way out of the water and to the corral. I was in the first wave group after the pros. We finally made it into the water and began positioning ourselves. I started left, closer to the buoy and in second position. I had a seem than I planned on exploding through to find the fast feet. The gun went off and so did we.

My first 2-300m were solid. We spread out easily. I swam over people when needed and had no problem. In fact, I would say my first 5-8 minutes were one of the best I ever had. I never looked up. I had people on both side of me and someone in front of me. I just swam with them. I continued to keep the head down and focused on the people around me so that I could draft. I wasn't sure how hard I was swimming at this point. I felt like I was being aggressive but I was also a bit winded and tired.

About the 15' mark I got dropped and strung out in no man's land. I popped out of the water looking for feet and made a move to my left as I spotted a couple of fish to swim with. The problem with the point to point swim is that you never really have a good idea where you are on the course. There was a 'half way' red buoy. I knew I had been in the water for a while and felt like that buoy had to be further than .6 miles. I peeked at my watch and it said 18:40. I was pissed. No way half this course took me that long. I tried to refocus on finding feet and for the most part I was successful. By the 30' mark, I was tired of being in the water. I thought for sure I was going to hit transition any minute but it still looked far off in the horizon.

I made the final turn toward the exit and came across a big group of rocks. About 100m later I stood up and started wading toward the exit. I glanced at my watch and it read 35:37. I was pretty deflated. I pushed out of the water toward the wetsuit strippers. The carpet was very thin and you felt every rock under you. I decided to forgo the strippers because I was worried about landing on some rocks. I made the long trek to my bike and hopped out of the wetsuit, grabbed what I needed and was out of transition. T1: 2:34

I started the bike pretty deflated from the pathetic swim. I thought to myself that I would push the final 15-20 miles of the bike and try to make up a few extra minutes and I would be right on target. The bike started with a short out and back through the crowd. I spent the time settling into the saddle and finding my watts. After we zipped through town, I took my 5 hr energy drink and I was ready to go.

One of the greatest aspects of this race was that it was completely closed to traffic. I have never seen so many cops. There were literally cops at EVERY road....including each neighborhood or church outlet. The race really shut down the city. I found my groove relatively easily. I was playing it smart. When I hit the bridges, I didn't grind. I dropped to small ring and spun up them. I was keeping my watts on the lighter side of my plan. I felt like I was racing it conservatively.

On the way out, I felt like were were on a small false flat. It felt much like the Silver Comet Trail and I was anticipating coming back at a slightly faster pace. As we turned onto the Chef the winds began picking up from what seemed like every direction. The coolest part of the race was being able to see the pros. You rarely get to seem them on the bike. I saw nearly all the women pros since I was only about 10 minutes behind them. I made it out the 24 mile turnaround and I was dead on my watts. I peeked at speed and was riding what I was expected to ride.

I continued to slice through the wind on the return before hitting Hwy 11. This was one of the most brutal stretches of roads I have ever endured. The wind was whipping me around like I have never experienced. It was unrelenting for the 5 miles out and 5 miles back. I did my best to stay aero tight and hold my prescribed watts. The sun was starting to come out so I grabbed a water from the aid station and began cooling myself down.

When we turned back onto the Chef we were into a solid headwind. I knew I was still on par for a good ride but it was time to push a bit more and gain a few minutes. So I pushed and the wind pushed back. I tried to wait it out and it didn't seem to want to help. Even coming back on Haynes Blvd the wind was unrelenting. This is where I thought I would have a slight downhill. I kept my eyes ahead and I wasn't gaining on the athlete despite feeling like I was giving it more effort. I peeked behind me and saw that no one was gaining on my anytime soon. We were all in this together.

At this point I was still trying to fight off the negative demons in my head from the swim. I was pushing the bike but not making up ground. Essentially, I was drowning in negativity. The wind was really taking it out of me. Physically, I was tired but felt like I should be from pushing the bike. But I really felt like I was having to give it more effort than I should to hold my watts. I made the mistake of peeking at my watch to see what the race time was. It was becoming very apparent to me that I wasn't going to be sub-5. This didn't sit well with me. The demons were infiltrating my head at a rapid pace. I didn't feel like running 13.1 miles today.

I struggled the last few miles. I tried to surge to get to feeling better but I was pretty beat. I was hoping the crowd would energize me. It didn't. I came off my bike and I had NO desire to run today. None. The worst part was that I couldn't realize that I actually had a good ride. The results show that I was 53/352 at that point. That is top 15% in my age group. But my mind was focused elsewhere. I didn't care. I had no passion or desire in my body.

I entered transition and yelled to Jess to call Dan and see if he would rather me DNF than run 13.1 miles. To me, if I wasn't going to meet my goal, I am not sure it made sense to tax my body over a hot 13.1 miles just for a t-shirt and medal. I made the decision to not stop and continue out of transition to start the run. T2: 2:17

As I exited transition, I was getting passed left and right. I felt like my form was horrible and I was running the pace of molasses. I continued to push and didn't like the way my body felt. I knew that it would take a miracle run to pull of a sub-5 race. I hit the one mile mark at 8:47. I was completely defeated. If 8:47 felt like that then I wasn't sure I would even PR on this day. Running a 2 hr half mary sounded miserable. I wasn't even sure I could pull that off. Doing a 5:30 meant nothing to me. I was not happy at all with my mindset but after stewing like this for well over 2 hours I couldn't move past it.

I decided to stop. I knew I needed to regather myself. I began thinking through the mental aspect of quitting a race. Was I being a wuss and this is the pain that I expected to experience? It didn't feel like the pain I remember from other races. Is it worth slowly jogging 13.1 miles or should I save my body and prevent any potential injury? Why did I want to quit? What went wrong today? Did I push the bike to hard? Were my watts wrong? All of these thoughts race through my head not making the situation any better. I decided to continue moving forward by walking in an attempt to regain my composure.

I was 1.5 miles into the run course and I had already stopped and was walking. I was done. I had given up on the race. I just needed to convince myself of it. So I turned around. I took off my race belt and chip. I walked back to the aid station and asked them to radio in Athlete 152-DNF. Due to the layout of the course, I had to walk back against the flow of run traffic. I pulled down my visor and tried to hide behind my sunglasses. Wouldn't you know that I am the most easily identifiable person in the world. This was truly the walk of shame.

I made it back to transition and gathered my thoughts. I sat under a tree and watched the rest of the race carnage unfold. When my watch beeped 5 hours, I turned it off. When my ride arrived, I walked past the other athletes who were still coming off the bike. I got in the car and headed back to the hotel. I just wanted a long shower and some quiet space to think.

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In the end, I got mentally defeated. I let the demons get the best of me today. And I let them get the best of me for all the WRONG reasons. I will never fully understand what happened out there on Sunday. I will never understand how I was able to actually turn around and walk back to transition. 48 hours later I am still just as shocked as anyone else. The key for me is to begin understanding why it happened so that it doesn't happen ever again.

You Finish What You Start

On my ride home, I was listening to a podcast with a pro triathlete. I swear it was perfect timing. The interviewer was asking about how one pushes through the tough times and when it is ok to take the easy way out by quitting. The athlete admitted to pulling out of races before. She understands why people do it. But she adheres to a simple philosophy--you finish what you start.

I have used that motto hundreds of times in my life. On Sunday that motto was nowhere to be found. I spent most of today in a daze about the race. I really thought it was a strange dream. Surely, I didn't actually quit a race. I can't recall the last time I ever quit something. In fact, one of my problems in my personal life is that I often can't walk away from situations because it feels like quitting.

In talking with friends today, everyone is shocked. They all agree that I am the LAST person in the world to quit a race. I am the type to walk the 13 miles rather than turn in my chip. I am still dumbfounded with how I came to that decision. I understand the why...but I am still in disbelief that I made the decision and stuck with it.

I could sit around and make excuses for the race. Bad nutrition, poor sleep, stress, not being prepared, race conditions, etc. But it doesn't matter. I quit. I was a big pussy. Things weren't going my way so I took my ball and went home. It is as simple that.

You finish what you start.

Mission Fail

First off, I want to say thank you for all the support leading up to the race. Family and friends, even those I don't know, have provided me with a wealth of support over my racing career and for that I am very grateful.

I didn't deliver this weekend. I had a mediocre swim, a good bike and then I ran 1 mile. Just one. I decided to pull out of the race. That's about all I have to report right now. No injuries, nothing is wrong with me physically. I just gave up.

I am giving it a lot of thought and obviously will write about it much more in the next few days/weeks.

Bust or Go Home

Those were the words from coach. He heard me loud and clear. Maybe a bit too loud and clear. I think the reality set in with the delivery of my race plan. I realize how much this is going to hurt. Dan certainly held nothing back and his race plan actually made me open my eyes even more. I think I actually gasped.

A few people have asked me about my attitude for the race and why I have this mentality. I began to expand upon this in my previous blog. I need to learn a lesson. I want to know where that line is. But more importantly, I need to begin expecting more out of myself. I went 11:03 at IMFL on a injury plagued season. Simple deduction says I can race a HIM in 5:30 by just pacing myself. Two years ago, I went 5:22 in the last HIM I raced. That was with three months of IM base training. I have to believe that I have gotten faster.

My attitude is simple. Given a decent race, I should PR without a problem. That isn't enough for me. The goal is simple...go sub 5. And that may be a stretch. Every which way I calculate my splits, I know I should be able to pull out a 5:05-5:10 if I am smart. But I don't want that. I would rather walk part of the run and finish 5:40 than go 5:05. I am still eaten up by the 3 minutes I left on the table at Ironman. From my perspective, if I go 5:02 then I didn't give it 100%. Somewhere I sandbagged it. So this race is me versus the clock.

What will it take to find that few extra minutes? Learning about my pain threshold and pushing through it. Go balls to the wall or go home. Can I swim 1 minute faster, bike 3 minutes faster and run 3 minutes faster. It sounds so easy on paper but is going to hurt so bad.

So there it is. Contentment begins with a sub-5 race. I know I am capable of pulling that off. It will require 100% focus for all 5 hours. A mental lapse on the swim means I get dropped. Losing focus on the bike will cost me 5 watts. And then I have 13.1 miles to fight off the negative demons. I did it for 26.2 miles in November. It is time to recreate that mentality and push.

Bust or go home. It is that simple.

Pre Race Thoughts

The time is here. I survived the last taper weekend with some satisfaction. It is time to turn my attention to mentally dialing into the race. I have mixed feelings about the weekend. I want to be excited about it but something is lacking. I guess it is the timing. It is early in the year and hard for me to think this is an "A" race.

I finally feel ready. My last few runs came together nicely. I still wish my rides were conducted with a bit more cooperation from the weather but the reality is I held my wattage just fine. My swim, well, it is what it is.

I will discuss later in the week my time goal, though it should be no secret to those who follow my training. But I really want to achieve a different goal. I want to hurt and continue to push. I want to try to find that line between pushing it hard and pushing it too hard. Too hard and I may go bust. While I never plan to blow up during a race, if there is ever one, this is it.

I commented the other day that it has been a long time since a race has taught me a lesson. Sure, races teach lessons. Often, for me, that lesson is that I could have pushed more. This, I think, is part of my discontent. I think I need a race to kick my ass to make me re-evaluate things.

Given all this, I am very tempted to flirt with disaster. Dan will kill me but he probably agrees that it isn't that bad of an idea. Personally, I would rather walk and go 30 minutes over my time goal than cross the finish line 2 minutes over that goal and know that I left something out on the course.

Will meeting my time goal mean giving it 100% the entire race? I don't know. When I put the numbers down on paper, it seems to add up too easily. I look at the targets and think I can make them. So I might not have enough perspective to know what I can really do. And that is the point of this early season race....to set up the rest of the season.

Ideal Race Weight

My longtime readers may recall that last year I devoted quite a bit of time to monitoring my weight. This wasn't for any specific reason other than to understand what my ideal race weight really was. I had suspected that my race weight should be around 155 lbs. This meant just making a few better diet decisions and I would be there. Well I am back on that boat again.

I have been avoiding the scale for most of the off season. I knew I was eating liberally. Well I am back on the scale and well....I am fat. I use that term a bit facetiously. But the other day, I weighed in nearly 10 pounds heavier than I was this time last year. Here is my last weight challenge post from 2008. The week before Powerman I was 158 pounds with under 7% body fat. Imagine my astonishment when I stepped on the scale for three straight days and had 167-168 readings. Time to put down the ice cream.

I spent a copious amount of time this week wondering what the cause of this weight gain might be. I feel like I am making better food choices this year. I know I am eating more fruits and vegetables. I am working out plenty. I have less snacks around the house. So what gives? Well, a number of things...

1. More upper body muscle. Over the past month I have noticed that my arms and chest have gotten much bigger. The funny thing is that I haven't set foot in a weight room this off-season. I have been focusing on push-ups, pull-ups, core strengthening and some high intensity interval training. Apparently I am seeing the results.

2. Cycling bulk. Last year I spent Dec-March running. This time last year I had amassed nearly 270 miles versus 200 this year. My cycling mileage is nearly the same but I have focused on intensity this year. I can see the muscular difference in my legs. So my legs are a bit bulkier than last season's long and lean muscle.

3. Protein power. My diet is getting 25-50g more of protein each and every day. This is likely the cause of the increased muscle bulk. I have debated going off the protein powder for a while. However, I am nearly 100% certain that my body doesn't get enough so I know it is a good thing.

4. Snacking in the office. Supervising people has encouraged me to adopt some bad eating habits...namely candy. I set it up as encouragement for co-workers to visit my office. Instead, I probably use it more as stress relief.

5. Cooler weather. I am certainly not sweating off the pounds early this season. Maybe the extra baggage is from my hibernation.

Again, I am not getting worked up about my weight...just yet. I still think my ideal weight is probably 158-162. I know I can get leaner. I am happy with the 8.1% body fat. My clothes are fitting me just fine so I know the weight isn't in the bad areas. It just isn't comforting to know that I am nearly 10 pounds heavier.

Part of my goal this season is to experiment with my body a bit more. The diet needs tweaking. I know that. I need to start counting calories. Not from an obsessive perspective but from and informative one. That way I can really determine my ideal race weight. I will never be one who measures out 1 1/4 cup of whatever. But I can practice moderation better.

So I am re-launching my weight challenge. Again, I am going to photograph my body and record my weight each and every Monday morning. Since I feel like I am carrying muscle bulk, it will be interesting to see if there are any changes over the next few months as I change up my routine.

What is it with Tapering

I can admit when I don't understand things. And tapering is one of them. I understand the benefits and why we do it. What I don't understand is the effects on the body. This isn't the first time I have blogged about it, here, and it certainly won't be the last. As an athlete you look forward to taper. But then it arrives and you hate every minute of it.

I understand the aches and pains that occur from the weeks/months of stress and fatigue. What I don't understand is the mental aspect of it. I wish I could trick my mind. I wish there was a way to prevent my mind from realizing that the race is here.

The funny thing is that physically I am not really tapering until this weekend. My workouts this week are on par with the previous weeks...tempo runs and z4 rides. But as usual, I have NO desire to do anything. I came home Wednesday night and was so defeated by the thought of riding the trainer that it didn't happen. The bike is still set up in the middle of my living room. I got on the bike and tried....twice. I had no desire to workout.

Thursday morning I headed out to run. My workout called for 2.5 miles easy and 2.5 miles hard. I did 3 easy. I didn't want to push it. I knew better. I knew pushing it would benefit me more. I tried to motivate myself and I had nothing. I was done.

During taper I become a big baby. I become crabby and cranky. It just amazes me how easy it is to get mentally defeated during this time. I spend weeks staying mentally strong to put forth solid effort when I don't want to workout. But 2 weeks before the race I am flat as a board. And how is it the my mental strength overcomes my physical strength? My body doesn't know it is tapering....well except that the mind constantly reminds it. I guess there are things that I will never understand.

Training with Perspective

What does fast look like? I am sure we all agree that the ability to run a 5k in 18:00 is fast. And that holds true until we meet the person that can run the same 5k in 16:00. Strong, fast, hard, far are all relative to your perspective. Over the past few years, I have encountered people on all ends of the spectrum. I know some really great runners. I know people who train and never get faster. I know people that are amazed when I go for a 40 mile ride. I know people that wow me with their abilities. Their perspectives in the sport are different.

In general, I subscribe to the theory that to get fast, you must train fast. And one of the easiest ways to accomplish that is to train with people faster than you. This is where most of us fail as triathletes. Instead, we surround ourselves with a peer group of equal or lesser talent. For one, this keeps us from getting embarrassed. Second, it lets our ego expand especially if we are on the front end of that group. But our perspective never grows.

I fell victim to this philosophy for the first few years of training. I just went out and rode with people. I treated group rides as social hour. There is a time and a place for that...just not if you really want to improve. Steve and I used to ride nearly every weekend. We were roughly the same pace. The companionship and encouragement is what we both needed to get through Ironman training. But we really never pushed it out there. The only pushing was when one of us fell off the back and didn't want to get dropped.

I joined a tri club last year and had a very similar experience. There are a number of good athletes in the bunch but due to geographical differences, I found myself unable to train with them. Additionally, I often found myself on the outside in that I was training for longer races. I would occasionally ride with them but again I found myself not getting 'faster.' More often than not, I wasn't pushing it enough to have a quality workout.

Last year my goal was to train with more intensity. I achieved that objective and POOF...I was faster. My perspective of fast and hard completely changed. Holding 20 mph in a race went from being a long term goal to an expectation every time I toe the line. This year I am pushing that thought a bit further because I am starting to better understand my potential.

This perspective also changed when I was in Hawaii. Part of my goal for that week was to push myself because I was around better athletes. I went into the week worried about being smoked in each workout. By the end of the week, the only difference was that they were in better shape than me. There wasn't a huge gap between abilities. Instead, I had the wrong perspective....and wasn't giving myself enough credit.

The key is the we need to better develop our perspective in this sport. If you are an athlete who exists in a world where 20 mph is really fast or a 10 mile run is too far or the Gaps are too challenging then you are limiting yourself. Fast, hard, long, tough are all have personal meanings. By setting those limits, you are promoting an I CAN'T attitude. And you never WILL if you don't try.

I am focusing on this perspective a lot this year. I still fail to show up to to the group ride when Dan tells me to. Why? I can't ride that fast and will get dropped. Will I really get smoked? Probably not but that degree of embarrassment is there. I am stuck in the perspective that the roadies are that much faster than me. Again, my perspective is that they are faster. How much faster? I don't know. It might only be .5 mph or 10 minutes over a ride. But until I actually get out there and push it, my perspective will never change.

In the next few weeks, I am going to blog about perspective a bit more. I want to think about how it has changed the way I train, what difference a coach has or has not made, the benefit of training with power and trying to learn what hurt really means during training and racing. I hope that after NOLA I have a different perspective on a number of things because my goal is to race differently than I ever have. Hopefully, with success that perspective will change to I CAN.

The Final Push toward NOLA

Wow. Is it really possible for me to put together a solid weekend of training AND have good weather. It isn't a misnomer. I think it actually happened. I was in Nashville for the weekend and traditionally I don't have good workouts up here. I don't really know why but things never seem to come together for me when I train long.

I set out Saturday morning for a 50 mile ride. My goal was to ride at least 50% of the time at tempo pace. My course was full of gentle rollers but I cruised along at a swift pace. Physically, I felt really strong. My body ached here and there but I had no difficulty maintaining the proper power. I got done and was feeling good about it. I have confidence that I will be able to hold a higher wattage during the race.

This morning I set out on a 12 mile run. I tried to find the flattest stretch of road knowing that it would be a bit challenging. The goal was to run 6 out and then pick up the pace on the way back. I felt really good for the first 6 miles holding a steady 8:40 pace on mostly a slight incline. Knowing that I would have the terrain with me on the return, I was able to open it up a bit and cruised at a 7:40 pace for the next three miles. There were two monster hills between mile 9.5 and 10.5 that took the wind out of my sails and dropped my pace to about 8:10. When I had the final mile to go, I wanted to gut it out. I had a solid downhill for half of it but I wanted to push through it. I wanted to feel that pain. I got my pace down to 7:13 and was done.

Right now, that is exactly what I needed from training. I had good weather and put together two solid workouts. Typically, I have one good weekend workout and the other is mediocre. Now I just need to replicate both of those in 2 weeks and I know I will hit my goal for New Orleans

The Nightmares are here

One of the signs that a big race is looming is that the thought begins to infiltrate my dreams. I have never considered myself one who dreams vividly much less remember the dream. But last night, I awoke after having my first dream about a race in quite some time.

In it, I was definitely in New Orleans. I believe I was having a good race until I got to the run. I guess I lost any desire to run because I started walking and talking with another athlete. Other than offering brief words of encouragement I have NEVER chatted with people on the run. I don't get those who find the run to be social hour for their misery. But in my dream I was chatting up a storm. That is until the athlete had the desire to run and left me.

I remember coming down the backstretch with a very slow jog. In the dream, I was carrying something. The finish line cameras were there and they didn't even want to take my picture because of how exasperated I was. And I didn't care. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked across the finish line.

The funniest part of the dream was in the post race food. It was held in a banquet hall and all I remember were hot dogs, nachos and donuts. LOL. I remember there being one other person in the room and as he was leaving he reminded me to turn off the lights, for I was the last person to the party. I fixed a hot dog with nacho sauce and began the walk to retrieve my bike.

Obviously I don't think my race will go like that. In fact, when I often dream about a big race, I dream about the worst case scenario. In this case it was walking the entire run and having no good post race food to eat.

I spent some time this morning wondering what all it means. It comes as no surprise that failure is not an option for me in life. Failure is probably something I fear. When you go into a race, there is ALWAYS a degree of uncertainty that can lead to failure. Failure can be completely breaking down during the race or not meeting a time goal. Either way, failure is a reality in any race when you factor in variables such as weather, terrain, nutrition and injury. The Ironman World Championships teach us that every year when in the last two years the defending champion hasn't finished the race...one due to food poisoning and the other to mechanical problems on the bike.

So my dream signifies a couple of things to me. First, it is the reality that the race is upon me. Two weeks from today I will be rolling into New Orleans. Second, it provides perspective on failure. I like to think it prepares me for the worst case scenario. Understanding what failure CAN look like provides me the opportunity face some of my fears in the situation and do whatever I can to control situations. I call it mental preparation

Knee Pain & Stretches (cross post from optimumsportsperformance.com)

FYI only. I came across this article while perusing some blogs on injury prevention. I thought this author summed things up pretty well and provided tons of helpful instructions on how to work on these areas. Feel free to pass on as needed.

http://optimumsportsperformance.com/blog/?p=375

Ouch! My knee hurts!

Working in the field of strength and conditioning and sports massage, one of the most common complaints I receive from athletes is “my knee hurts.”

While the knee can hurt for a variety of reasons, some of those reasons requiring surgical intervention, it is not uncommon for the pain to be cleared up with some soft tissue work and corrective exercise.

Patellofemoral Pain, or anterior knee pain, and IT Band Syndrome are two of the biggest complaints that plague athletes, especially athletes like runners and cyclists who perform repetitive movements in training and competition and usually do so over long periods of time and/or distance.

NOLA Backstretch

I am beginning to see the beam of light signifying that New Orleans 70.3 is about to be here whether I like it or not. And as usual, I don't feel prepared. I have put in the work. I have listened to the slave driver. I have done the workouts but it doesn't feel like it is coming together properly. Perhaps I always complain about this before a big race. I am too afraid to dig through old posts to confirm. Perhaps being ready involves feeling unprepared.

In two and a half weeks I will be racing from the UNO campus to the Jackson Square. Maybe I will be hanging on for dear life. Maybe I will be blazing a new PR. Not really sure what will happen. I don't have any expectations for the race. I know what I WANT to do. I have an idea what I WILL do. And I am ok with either of those scenarios

Part of my uneasiness is that in preparation for an early season race, I lack confidence. I don't really know where my fitness is. It is kinda guess work. Can I push it for five hours? If I can I don't know that yet. Instead, I am finding myself winded more often than invigorated. It comes with the territory of going through a peak phase of training. The body is loaded up and handling the stress I am applying.

The weather this winter has been an even bigger deterrent. I haven't been able to log as many long rides as I would like. I just have to trust the training plan. My biggest frustration is that I never seem to have harmony between the three disciplines. For instance, my love/hate relationship with water is back. This while I am having good runs. I know this is a cyclical pattern but it would be really nice to feel super confident in all three sports going into a race. I just have to remind myself that this is a familiar feeling and it always works out in the end.

In the meantime, I am trying to stay positive and calm about a race that is 70.3 miles in two weeks. After doing a couple of Ironmans, the distance sounds easy. That is until you realize that you can push it 100% most of the way. And that you still have to run 13.1 miles. Ugh. I am calm about it. I hope to keep it this way and focus on letting this race be a benchmark for the season.

Season Outlook

For those who haven't noticed, I updated my 2009 calendar to the left. As mentioned, I am backing off the super long distances and hopefully allowing my body the heal a bit while focusing my time and energy on adding a bit of speed.

My year will roughly translate into a base, build and peak model. Right now I am just hanging out in the base phase (with specific training of course). Coach Dan and I are stressing the body in a number of different ways to see exactly how it is responding to training. So far, so good. That means I will use NOLA as a field test. I have some general expectations but not too many. Instead, it will become the benchmark for the year.

From there, I have about 14 weeks until my next half-iron. The focus here will be to build my bike. I will go into a heavy training period where I expect to see my FTP increase significantly as I spend more time in the saddle. The goal will be to maintain the swim and run knowing that more of both should translate into faster times.

Finally, as I move toward Augusta in September, we will focus on the run. The plan is to let the cumulative effect of running guide me toward the final race and then get more specific. The key is to stay injury free on the season and if I can accomplish that then this plan should work. The great thing is that I get to experiment and make adjustments.

Beyond those key races, the schedule is littered with some fun along the way. I haven't really spent anytime in Georgia racing so this gives me that opportunity to see what I can do against local talent. Plus it will keep me a bit more motivated.

This schedule also affords me some downtime. I would like to do some epic training between NOLA and the next half. I would like to take a week off and essentially replicate the training camp schedule sans the blue water of Kona. Also, the schedule should allow some downtime. A vacation is in the works....and it does NOT include my bike. :)

As always the schedule is tenative and subject to change. I like the idea of finishing tri season early. If all goes well then it should launch me into a nice off season running plan and just in time for some football.

No More Trainer Workouts

Apparently I am in a blogging rut right now because thoughts aren't spring from my mind in the way they should. Or maybe I am just caught up in thinking about how routine I am.

I realized this yesterday after riding 2 hours at Columns Dr. For those not familiar, Columns in a 2.5 mile road that is relatively flat and has NO stops. Cyclist often ride there because you can to a 5 mile loop without much interference. I realize yesterday that I rode over 40 miles there. This would be the equivalent of running 5-7 miles on a track. For most people that would be mentally draining. But it didn't bother me.

So I began thinking about why it is that I can ride Columns for 8 laps or on the Comet each weekend without it bothering me but mentally, I can't stomach the trainer much more than 45-50 minutes. Is it really two different mentalities?

The simple answer is the level of engagement. When I am on the road, I am engaged. I am scanning the terrain, watching for cars, listening to my body. This keeps me alert the entire time. The opposite is true on the trainer. I am not mentally engaged at all. But I can't help to think that NOT being mentally engaged would be easier. I am amazed by people who can put on their Ipod or a movie and just ride indoors for 2 hours. It sounds simple. I have tried. I have put on a movie or basketball game AND ipod. Still sucks for me. I have tried to play games with my workout on the trainer...it just won't happen for me.

Being a very rational person, this all still seems to fly in the face of conventional wisdom. Sure we all prefer the road to the trainer but why does the same 50 miles on the Comet not bother me after 3 years but 50 minutes on the trainer is like taking a kid to the doctor. Why is it that worrying about potholes, inclines and cars seem 10x easier than just sitting there and spinning at 190 watts for ten minute periods.

I am not sure if I will ever have the answer to this questions. I guess it just works for me. Maybe it is time to tackle bigger questions such as how many laps do you have to complete on Columns before you actually get dizzy. Apparently more than eight.

Nagging Injury Bug is Back

Grrr...this injury bug is creeping back into my life. I have told it that I have NO interest in continuing our relationship anymore but it doesn't want to listen.

A few weeks ago, I rolled my left ankle pretty well. I was running through Brookhaven when I mistook a rock for a leaf in the road. The ankle crumbled right under it. I can't remember the last time I have rolled my ankle like that. A few hobbles later and I was still able to finish my 8 mile run with minimum pain.

I didn't really think anything of it until last week. Thursday are run interval days. On my final interval, I feel something pop in the area of my left ankle. The pain was sharp but nothing that stopped me from continuing. I ran home gingerly and the weirdest thing happened...my right foot went numb/asleep. When I got home I noticed swelling in the left ankle so I grabbed the ice bag and called Coach Dan.

I didn't really feel anything on my 12 mile run this weekend so I chalked it up to being a fluke injury. Well until yesterday when I revisited my Thursday intervals. And again, in the last 2 minutes of my final interval the ankle flared up. It wasn't as acute as before but definitely noticeable. And within minutes, my right foot goes numb. I finish up the run and begin walking during my cooldown. Voila, the numb feeling is gone. Bizarre.

I have two possible thoughts on the matter. First, I rolled the ankle worse than I suspected and actually did some tendon/ligament damage that can ONLY be repaired through recovery and down time. If this is the case, then hopefully I can just make it through the next few weeks and then recovery after NOLA 70.3.

Second, I changed shoes this year after a three years in the same brand and model. I have moved to a more neutral striking shoe from that of a stability. I like to think this has helped me in keeping my ITBS inflammation at bay. The downside is that I am suffering through a number of new aches and pains. Namely, my shins and calves are on fire when I run. The cause is that for years my pronation has been corrected through the stability shoe...most likely over corrected. Now my pronation is a bit more natural. That requires me to engage a number of muscles I haven't properly trained. Maybe my ankle is part of that.

Right now I am staying in a holding pattern just monitoring the issue. Let's hope that it stays at bay.

Changing Bad Habits

Recently I have been thinking a great deal along the lines of routine and habits. I guess this is a cyclical process that occurs about this time every year when the days get longer and training becomes much less sporadic and more targeting. One of the most frequently asked questions of me is 'How do you find the time to workout that much?" Simple...I establish a routine and then my routine becomes a habit.

I began to push myself a bit further on the idea of routine and habit when I had a conversation with my father about his attempt to stop smoking after nearly 40 years. Both my parents have unsuccessfully attempted this endeavor a number of times over the past few years. The thing about smoking, as with many vices, is that it becomes routine and habit forming in an addictive way. Hence, your brain is conditioned to think of a cigarette after lunch, in the car, etc. Overtime, the habit becomes a lifestyle. So in order to change the behavior, you have to re-wire your routine, habit and conditioned lifestyle.

We all have our vices...coffee in the morning (and afternoon), a glass of wine (or three) after dinner, being in denial about our actual diet versus our perceived diet, chocolate glazed donuts, the hidden stash of peanut m&ms, weekend shopping sprees, hitting snooze for 30 minutes, not working out. We all deal with some or all of these issues. It is, quite frankly, what makes us...well...us.

I began thinking about how I approach routines and habits in my life. The one I am currently struggling with is jump starting my mornings with a solid workout. This is one that I frequently struggle with. But I keep it very simple. For the week, I identify which morning will grant me the best opportunity to workout. So far, Tuesday mornings give me time to knock out a 30-40 minute run. I focus on my motivation...freeing up my evening. Then I work as hard as I can to accomplish that one smaller goal. Then I make adjustments as needed.

Over time, Tuesday morning runs become a habit. The key, in my opinion, is taking on the smaller tasks first. I don't expect to wake up next week and workout each morning. Instead, I take each step in stride. In order to help facilitate this change, I have began getting up earlier and earlier in the morning. I used to get up at 7:00. Then every two weeks, I would dial it back another 10 minutes. Again, focusing on the smaller, easier incremental change. Once the routine is formed, 6:15 is nothing.

One of the greatest areas of improvement in my life has been my diet. Being a creature of habit, I eat the same exact lunch EVERY single day. It doesn't bother me and makes things very easy when I go to the grocery store or make lunch in the morning. But over the years, this has changed significantly. I always wanted to change this area but I was so overwhelmed by the thought of overhauling it that I couldn't make it happen. So here is how my diet has changed over the years.

2001-2003	2003-2005	2005-2006	2006-2007	2008-Present
2 slices of white bread	2 slices of white bread	2 slices of honey wheat bread	2 slices of whole grain bread	2 slices of whole grain bread
2 pieces of American Cheese	1 piece of American Cheese	1 piece of American Cheese	1 piece of American cheese	1 piece of American cheese (or swiss)
2 pieces of bologna	3 slices of ham	3 slices of ham	3 slices of lean turkey	3 slices of lean turkey
Tablespoon of ranch dressing			tablespoon of spicy mustard	tablespoon of spicy mustard
Ranch/Cheese doritos until full	Plenty of doritos	Handful of pretzels	Handful of pretzels	Handful of carrots
Swiss cake rolls/nutty bars	Handful of cookies	4 cookies	Fat free yogurt	Fat free yogurt
Coke	Diet Coke	Water	Water	Water

(ETA: I HATE that blogger doesn't support tables...grrrr)

By far the biggest adjustment was going to potato chips to raw carrots. But as you can see, it took years. I have probably cut out 400 bad calories from my diet. The good thing is that I can't even remember the last time I bought doritos. But i don't view this transformation as complete. I still think there is room for improvement so I will continue to make small adjustments. This isn't to say that I don't ever have relapses. I had two bags of chips on Thursday with lunch. They sure were yummy. But Friday I brought my carrots again. I wouldn't allow myself to get out of my routine

I could generate a similar roadmap for my dinner options. Dinners at the local buffet or hot dogs and frozen pizza...processed food galore. I have focused a lot of energy on eating fresh food...stuff that doesn't come in a box. I am not quite there but I assure you that my freezer is full of fresh meats and fruit...nothing in a box. But again, it takes time.

Breaking bad habits (not working out) or initiating new ones is all about establishing a routine. Training is the same way. I can't wake up tomorrow and decide to race an Ironman. It takes hardwork, dedication and most importantly consistency. I have to run 1 mile before I can run 26. So no matter what your vice is, realize that with small incremental changes comes larger change. And larger change becomes habit. Maybe you try drinking tea in the afternoon instead of coffee, you take one less smoke break, you grab pretzels instead of doritos or set your alarm for 5 minutes early. The more consistent you become the more likely the routine will become habit.

A Tale of Two Weekends

It really amazes me how the weather can change 180 degrees in just seven days. Last weekend, I was doing everything I could to stay both dry and warm. My Saturday ride was miserable. And then I had to fight 2-3 inches of snow just to get in 8.5 miles. While running, I can recall that during my final two miles all I wanted to was a warm tub. Mentally, I had already turned on my dryer to generate warm towels.

Fast forward to this weekend and it was a totally different world out there. I hopped on the bike at about 10:30 Saturday morning in shorts and a short sleeved jersey. By the end, I had unzipped the top to cool off even more. On Sunday, I started at 9 for a 12 mile run. This time, during the final two miles, I took off my shirt and was dumping water on my head. There was NO need for a warm bath after the run. Instead, it was 15 pounds of ice of the bath. Quite the reversal. Hopefully there are more weekends like that in the future.

Routine and Mood Swings

I will admit that one of my biggest Type A, OCD tendencies is that I am VERY routine based. I can remember this pattern dating back to high school and it causing problems in personal relationships. The bottom line is that I know what works best for me so I like to repeat it. Being routine based can be both a pro and con.

The positive is that it enables me to tackle of variety of issues because it simplifies things. I sometimes wish I could be one of those people who live on a whim...but I am not. My life is all about "To-do" lists. This helps me stay focused. When the weekend comes, I sometimes feel overwhelmed until I quantify things. Then I gain a sense of accomplishment as I mark things off. In the end, a routine gives me a sense of balance in life.

The downside is that a routine based lifestyle leaves you very rigid. I tend to stay high strung a bit more than I desire. But more importantly, when a wrench is thrown into my routine, I become very crabby and moody. I seriously think it alters the equilibrium within.

When it comes to triathlon, I often tell beginners that YOU are your only deterrent in the sport. The key to the sport is consistency. You need consistency day in day out; week after week. Most beginners never adopt a routine and randomly go about the sport. This is exactly where the sport becomes a perfect fit for my personality mold. I know what my workouts are for the week. I know that Wednesday is bike intervals, Friday is long swim, etc. This helps me plan the rest of my week.

This week provided a significant challenge to my routine. Work was quite hectic and the thought of only a 40 hour work week sounded like the greatest idea in the world. Typical 8-9 hour days were being stretched to 10-11 hour days. I was in earlier and leaving later. This pattern completely disrupted my routine. To make matters worse, it threw off my feeding pattern. And I am DEFINITELY a creature of habit when it comes to eating.

What resulted was a very crabby and moody mindset. By Wednesday night, I was in a really foul mood. I walked into my house at 8:30 and still had to get on the trainer. I found myself eating dinner at 9:45. This isn't my routine and definitely not one that I want to see repeated.

The thing about a routine is that they are incredibly difficult to start and they take focus nearly every day to become habit. However, they are so EASY to break. Then you have to start the cycle over. My concern was that work was completely disrupting my routine.

I spent most of Wednesday night focusing on I COULD do over the next few days to channel more positive energy into the situation. What I realized was that the break in my routine resulted in one of the biggest personal violations....neglecting myself. I value time to myself. Some would say I vaule it too much, but that is an entry on a different blog. :) As mentioned above, my routine brings calmness and simplicity to my life. I realized that I wasn't getting any me time.

I tend to quantify me time during three points in the day. The first and most important time is in the morning before work. It is that 30 minutes after waking up. I don't drink coffee or read the paper but it's the equivalent of that stereotype. The second is during lunch. I eat in my office 90% of the time and it provides me the opportunity to reflect on the morning and refocus on the afternoon/evening tasks. Finally, it is the 20 minutes after a workout when I am cooling down or just lying on the floor.

So Thursday I set out with the task of finding that equilibrium. I woke up early and despite knowing the hectic day was ahead, I tried to relax and remind myself that the sun will rise even if the people at work think the sky is falling. I took 20 minutes to do some basic yoga to get the blood flowing. And then I spent the next 30 minutes watching Sunrise Earth. This is something that I probably never realized impacted me as much as it does. But I find it VERY tranquil and relaxing. I even took my blackberry to the car so that I wouldn't hear it buzzing. That morning I arrived to work in such a calm and relaxed mood. The stress of the day didn't bother me. I went home relaxed and had a good workout. I found that balance.

Moving forward I need to spend more time capturing these moments. For instance, I decided to not race this weekend. I know athletically racing this weekend would be in my best interest. It would likely bring me more success next month. However, it wasn't striking a balance in my life. I didn't like the prospect of spending 10 hours in the car when it is sunny and 70. Instead, I opted to stay home. This weekend will hopefully provide me with an opportunity to get outdoors as much as possible. I will be able to train outside (a routine I miss) and spend some time around the house taking care of things that need to be done. Most importantly, I will focus on myself this weekend.

My to-do list is growing by the moment. I won't accomplish everything. Instead, I will focus on what I CAN do and what will maximize my happiness. And at the end of Sunday, I hope to sit down for dinner with a sense of relief....relief that training IS on target for NOLA, relief that I accomplished a number of things over the weekend, relief that I found equilibrium and will start next week fresh and with a better attitude about things.

Inclement Weather cont

“You hear a lot of comments about, “He makes it look easy,’ or ‘His face shows no effort…’ Come look at my face in January when I’m trail-running in Texas and I’m hurting like a dog. It’s an ugly face. But I’d rather have the face then and feel good here. It’s called sacrifice.”

Aside from my quote at the top of my blog, this is one of my favorite Lance Armstrong quotes. And this is one of those quotes that stick with you on difficult days. Last week I blogged about how much I hate riding in cold weather. Well the tri-gods were not friendly this weekend either. In fact, they were down right pissy with us.

Saturday turned to rain nearly all day. My morning 2.5 hours had to be rescheduled to 90 minutes on the trainer with 2x30' in z3. Sigh. No thanks. I was determined to make it happen. I made it through the warmup and I wasn't quite feeling it. Typically, I can get through the first 15-20 minutes of a trainer ride and my body is dialed in. Not today. But I knew I had to get through it. So I pushed up to z3 trying to hold the required wattage. As I pushed, my body began revolting a bit. I was sweating like a nun in a whore house.

I hopped off the bike and moved it to my screened in porch and turned on the patio fan. Better. But still not great. I am creating pools of sweat underneath me. At this point, I had gone through about 50 oz of fluid and I was still burning up. I stuck out the final few minutes of the first set and said screw the weather....I would just ride in the cold rain. So I bolted out the down and did 10 laps through the executive park near where I live. I nearly completed the entire workout. I wasn't happy but the workout was over.

Sunday provided an even different challenge. Really cold temps and snow...and lots of it. I have run in the snow before so I remained un-phased. Well the morning brought torential downpour and I never found a break in the weather. Around 11 am the rain turned to snow and white stuff littered the sky. I had an 11 mile run on the schedule and was determined to get through it...snow or not.

By the time I started, Atlanta had experienced at least 2 solid inches of snow. It was accumulating in must areas. However the roads and sidewalks were just slush. I knew that the run would be challenging and would require an acute level of awareness to ensure that I didn't eat concrete. I put on the my lightweight tights, running shorts, long sleeve under armor shirt and running gloves. Ok...I will pause there and explain to some of you that think my outfit was not enough. When you run, your body temp rises...in a big way. Couple that with most runners having a certain cold tolerance, then you might begin to understand why you always see runners in shorts. I opted for tights today only for additional protection from the wind.

What I failed to account for was exactly how wet the snow was. This wasn't light powdery snow that I am accustom to. This was big, wet flakes. 1.5 miles into the run and my shirt is soaked and my skin is wet too. Not a big deal. For whatever reason, I decided to run a really hilly route today. Needless to say the slushy conditions were draining. I was doing my best to keep my feet dry and quickly became alert when the cold water entered the shoes.

Five miles in and I was feeling REALLY good. I had a solid pace through the hills and I wasn't cold at all. Then I hit a wind tunnel. The wind brought sheets of snow from the trees and rooftops. I was being pelted. But worst of all, the flat land was full of slush ridden sidewalks. Quickly my feet were soaked. No worries, I am still pushing through. Well the route now became a mistake. Due to the flat terrain and copious side roads, I found myself continually stepping in ankle deep puddles by the curbs. I can deal with soaked feet until a point. I am still smiling.

I shake off a lot of things in training because you can't control all the elements. And this was one of those days. I am entering the Brookhaven area and there is a giant tree lying across Peachtree. So maybe I wasn't supposed to run this route. On my return, traffic is beginning to pick up as the snow recedes. The downside is that traffic and tons of water on the road only result in one thing....splashing water on the side walk. I do my best to avoid the tsunamis that are sent my way. I can only laugh at this point. There is nothing dry on my.

Still determined to have a good run, I start heading back to the house knowing that I can tack on a few extra miles if needed. At this point there isn't a dry spot on my body. My water bottle had turned to slush but I was still having fun. Around mile 7 I finally began to get cold. The moisture was seeping into my gloves. Once my hands go, I am all down. I was close to the house at this point and made the decision to call it a day...and seek dry, warm clothes.

I learned a lot on the run. Sacrifice. I wasn't going to let the weather deter me. I believe in running in inclement weather so long as you are safe. The downed tree, power lines, soaking wet clothes and unstable footing probably pushes the line of safe. Additionally, what I learned was the importance of water/wind resistant clothing. My attire was fine for 30 degrees. It wasn't meant for 30 degrees AND soaking conditions. Alas, I really don't want to invest in clothes for just 2-3 runs a year. But I learned my lesson.

February Totals

I am still feeling good about training right now. I wasn't about to crank out a big month due to recovering from Hawaii, the Time Trial and inclement weather. I am very much ready for time change AND better weather. Overall I am very pleased with where I am. My running was solid this month and the workload is finally turning into speed. I feel like a broken record at this time of year but my bike is still lagging behind. But I am probably not giving myself enough credit for the work that has been completed to date.

February's totals:
Bike:	8h 48m 53s - 158.34 Mi
Run:	9h 08m 19s - 62.35 Mi
Swim:	4h 13m 55s - 12950 Yd
Strength:	4h 05m
Yoga:	1h 00m

2009 totals
Bike:	29h 28m 30s - 496.94 Mi
Run:	18h 10m 30s - 120.85 Mi
Swim:	11h 08m 52s - 30250 Yd
Strength:	5h 45m
Yoga:	2h 00m