Where did I go?

WOW!!! Has it really been three weeks since I have blogged? In fact, I think it has been at least 2 weeks since I have pulled up my own blog. Sad. I used to blog 2-3 times a week but things have changed. This injury has sapped the motivation from me. I have nearly lost all mental focus. Training is abysmal. I can find nearly any excuse in the world to quit training.

Injury Update

Where to begin? The road to recover has been a long and treacherous one. I hit rock bottom with anxiety and frustration. The pain became so severe that I was reduced to just swimming...and the fun in that was taken away from me to. There are good days and bad with the injury. I have spent an enormous amount of time and money trying to fix the issue. I went through physical therapy, I received a cortisone shot, my chiropractor sees me more than the women I date and my massage therapist loves me even more.

Recover by the numbers:
Doctors Appts: 2
Physical Therapy Appts: 7
Sports Medicine Appts: 2
Chiropractor Appts: 5
Massage Appts: 3


That is 19 trips to the 'doctor' in the past 50 days. So where have I been? At the doctor trying to get better. And occasionally whoring myself out to pay for all these medical bills. And I still don't have anything to show for it.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I ended my physical therapy session. I wasn't seeing any positive results in the three week period. That afternoon I called my chiropractor, who is a well respected professional in the area. We talked about alternative methods. So I went to get a cortisone shot. Ouch. That hurt. Thanks for injecting my knee with fluid. Now I get to walk around with my knee feeling swollen. Oh boy!

So I went running. 3.8 miles in about 33 minutes. The first 15 were good. There was very little pain or irritation...but the glory was short lived. It hurt. So maybe the cortisone wasn't the best option.

Then I called the chiropractor. I want to try an alternative medicine route that a few friends of my recommend, the Graston Technique. In short, he takes a specialized tool and runs it over my skin, muscle, tissue in the same way you would scrape a sticker off glass. The idea is that with enough pressure it breaks up the adhesions in the leg; thus, relaxing the tissue and forcing the leg to go into recovery

It is really a weird feeling. The tool looks like a spackling putty knife. When tissue is in disrepair if feels like driving down a gravel road with all the bumps in the way. Good tissue/muscle is nice a smooth. His first pass was an old dirt road. It was nasty. And it hurt. The result? A badly bruised leg. Oh boy!



Next onto my massage therapist. She is to start molding the muscle and tissue to stimulate additionally recovery. The problem is that she is digging her thumbs into an area that is alrealy bruised. I look at my leg and can literally see her thumbprints along the IT band of my leg. Oh boy!

So that is where I have been. Hopefully on the road to recovery. I did manage to run 5.5 miles on Sunday. That is the longest run in nearly two months. And only half of what I need to put together in less than a week.....

Oh boy!

Temptation is a Bitch

Things aren't getting any easier. I talked to my physical therapist yesterday and told her I wanted to take a different course of action. Two and a half weeks in therapy and my body simply wasn't responded. My body always responds with two or three treatments. This wasn't what she wanted to hear; however, she didn't really put up a fight. She knew how frustrated I was. She was frustrated too. I made a few calls, got a referral to an otherpedic and will see about a cortisone shot.

So now I am sitting in Chattanooga. Friends are out on a century ride that I really want to do. My shiny, clean bike is staring at me wondering when she will be ridden again. And triathletes are rolling into town and an unfathomable rate. The town is transforming into a race. And I am sitting here injured.

I sat out last year because my body wasn't completely recovered from Ironman. I wanted this race this year. This is the only race that has ever broken me. Two years ago, it was my third tri ever. To this day, it is the only one that has ever broken me. I learned that day what a bonk was. I got on the run feeling great and then my body stopped. I couldn't run...at all. I learned a lot that day. In preparation for the season, I wanted my revenge. And this race fit nicely into my plan.

I am so tempted to say fuck it and do the damn race. Yes it will hurt but I can't really cause any more damage to the injury. Walking hurts it just as much. I know the right thing to do is NOT race but I am so frustrated with the injury and I just want to go out and punish the body. I want to hit the water and give it 100%. If I am spent, I pull out, if not I continue. I want to get on the road and hammer the bike. I want to take out some aggression. It is 26 miles. I can do that still drunk. If I hurt then I stop in T2. Otherwise, I hit the run and see what happens. All my gear is here in the room. Temptation is a bitch.

Down and out

This isn't easy and it is so damn frustrating. Things simply aren't getting better. It is hard to say that things are getting worse but mentally and physically they are defeating me even more. I completely laid off running in hopes of things getting better. I thought I was on my way I even canceled running in the Peachtree on the 4th of July in an effort to not risk further injury. Did it bother me? Absolutely. I have never had a did not start (DNS) in a race where I was registered. But it was the Peachtree...I was doing that race for the spectacle it is.

Well over the weekend, the knee irritation found its way to my cycling. Not good. It was minor on my 70 mile ride Saturday. But there was definitely no running off the bike while in that condition. Sunday's ride only took a turn for the worse. I had noticeable irritation that progressed to pain at times. I was able to endure the two hour session but I was in really bad shape when I got off the bike. The knee was as tight as can be. I walked with a very noticeable limp. Not good.

But in both instances, the knee seemed to respond when the stimulant was removed. In a few hours, the inflammation returned to minimal irritation. However, minimal irritation still isn't good. I was feeling it with nearly every step.

So I had to make a decision about racing in Chattanooga. Clearly my run wasn't going to be where I wanted it to be. So I decided I would only do the swim and bike portion. I would turn it into a 90 minute, full-on, intense brick session. Hammer the swim, pound the bike and turn in my chip. Yep, that is swallowing a lot of pride on my part. I thought it over a number of times and came to terms with pulling out of the race when I exit t2. I figure, at worse, I can practice a few things and experiment a bit.

Well come Monday, there is no improvement in the knee. I enter my fifth session with my physical therapist and clearly I am not responding to the treatment. My frustration is surmounting and she knows it. She wants me to take the entire week off...no training. I tell her that she is out of her f'ing mind. (Aside: we have a long history together so I purposely give her a hard time and she does the same).

Dan and I chat. James and I chat. I am on the shelf. No running. No cycling. Only swimming. And at a reduced rate. Chattanooga. Nope. Done. 2 races. 2 DNS. That really doesn't sit well with me right now. I know it is the right decision. James made a valid point. I have nothing to gain in Chattanooga. There is too much on the line to lose and nothing good can come of the swim or bike. He's right. I just need to suck it up and back off.

So what did I do? Other than go out and stay up too late? I took Monday and Tuesday off from training. I couldn't tell you the last time I took off two days. The motivation wasn't there. The desire was sapped from my body. I hate the pool and the thought of spending even more time there kills me.

That's where I stand. To the best of my ability, I am going to sit for an entire week. 2-3 swims at most. No running. No cycling. That really sucks. But if my knee doesn't respond to this, then I have to seek an alternate plan. My next step is to get a cortisone shot and maybe with that, I can get through Belgium.

How am I coping? Eh. It isn't easy. Sometimes life isn't really fair. I am frustrated to no end. I am tired of talking about it. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. But there is nothing I can do about the situation. Time to go on the disabled list.

I can assure you one thing. Should my body respond and allow it, training will be back with a vengeance. I will be pissed off at losing 2 months and look to take it out on SC HIM and IM FL.

June Totals

Not a great month for training. It was confounded by recovery from the Triple T and then the onset of an injury that brought about the demise of my running (see blog below). As you can see, I did log quite a bit of time in the pool. I have a feeling that July will be much of the same.

I am well ahead of my goals for the year and well ahead of my totals from 2007. Barring a complete meltdown over the next few weeks, I should be able to easily surpass the yearly goals.

June's totals:
Bike:	17h 52m 24s - 327.44 Mi
Run:	6h 16m 58s - 43.95 Mi
Swim:	10h 18m 50s - 29350 Yd
Yoga:	55m

2008 totals
Bike:	103h 58m 24s - 1824.39 Mi
Run:	66h 03m 37s - 461.96 Mi
Swim:	47h 22m 29s - 136916.3 Yd
Strength:	7h 10m
Yoga:	7h 20m

61% of the way there on the bike and I haven't began my long rides. :)
62% of the way there on the run. And to think I was SO far ahead 45 days ago. Ugh.
55% of the way there on the swim. That is a bit surprising.

But as I stated, all are ahead of schedule.