Down and out

This isn't easy and it is so damn frustrating. Things simply aren't getting better. It is hard to say that things are getting worse but mentally and physically they are defeating me even more. I completely laid off running in hopes of things getting better. I thought I was on my way I even canceled running in the Peachtree on the 4th of July in an effort to not risk further injury. Did it bother me? Absolutely. I have never had a did not start (DNS) in a race where I was registered. But it was the Peachtree...I was doing that race for the spectacle it is.

Well over the weekend, the knee irritation found its way to my cycling. Not good. It was minor on my 70 mile ride Saturday. But there was definitely no running off the bike while in that condition. Sunday's ride only took a turn for the worse. I had noticeable irritation that progressed to pain at times. I was able to endure the two hour session but I was in really bad shape when I got off the bike. The knee was as tight as can be. I walked with a very noticeable limp. Not good.

But in both instances, the knee seemed to respond when the stimulant was removed. In a few hours, the inflammation returned to minimal irritation. However, minimal irritation still isn't good. I was feeling it with nearly every step.

So I had to make a decision about racing in Chattanooga. Clearly my run wasn't going to be where I wanted it to be. So I decided I would only do the swim and bike portion. I would turn it into a 90 minute, full-on, intense brick session. Hammer the swim, pound the bike and turn in my chip. Yep, that is swallowing a lot of pride on my part. I thought it over a number of times and came to terms with pulling out of the race when I exit t2. I figure, at worse, I can practice a few things and experiment a bit.

Well come Monday, there is no improvement in the knee. I enter my fifth session with my physical therapist and clearly I am not responding to the treatment. My frustration is surmounting and she knows it. She wants me to take the entire week off...no training. I tell her that she is out of her f'ing mind. (Aside: we have a long history together so I purposely give her a hard time and she does the same).

Dan and I chat. James and I chat. I am on the shelf. No running. No cycling. Only swimming. And at a reduced rate. Chattanooga. Nope. Done. 2 races. 2 DNS. That really doesn't sit well with me right now. I know it is the right decision. James made a valid point. I have nothing to gain in Chattanooga. There is too much on the line to lose and nothing good can come of the swim or bike. He's right. I just need to suck it up and back off.

So what did I do? Other than go out and stay up too late? I took Monday and Tuesday off from training. I couldn't tell you the last time I took off two days. The motivation wasn't there. The desire was sapped from my body. I hate the pool and the thought of spending even more time there kills me.

That's where I stand. To the best of my ability, I am going to sit for an entire week. 2-3 swims at most. No running. No cycling. That really sucks. But if my knee doesn't respond to this, then I have to seek an alternate plan. My next step is to get a cortisone shot and maybe with that, I can get through Belgium.

How am I coping? Eh. It isn't easy. Sometimes life isn't really fair. I am frustrated to no end. I am tired of talking about it. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. But there is nothing I can do about the situation. Time to go on the disabled list.

I can assure you one thing. Should my body respond and allow it, training will be back with a vengeance. I will be pissed off at losing 2 months and look to take it out on SC HIM and IM FL.