In Pursuit of Perfection

Is it ever enough? Is it too much?

I was posed this internal question tonight as I watch the movie Spirit of the Marathon. The movie is a documentary on the evolution of the marathon and chronicles 5 athletes in their pursuit of various goals in the Chicago Marathon. The athletes varied in experience, age and abilities. The common theme was that they all faced the same demons we all do....Am I doing too much? Is it ever enough?

Watching movies like this, in a theater of athletes nonetheless, forces you to think about your own training. You compare yourself to the athletes. You empathize and sympathize. You watch them deal with injuries and wonder if it is finally time for you to concede to the idea that you are injured. You can't for the life of you understand why HE can Boston qualify with a 3:10 and you struggle on a 2 hour run.

In this sport, you are often asked and ask yourself why. Why do you force yourself outside for a 15 mile run when it is 12 degrees. Why do you push yourself for 80 miles at 6 am on a Saturday. What is the ultimate goal? To finish? To beat a specific time? To podium? To qualify for world championships? Is it ever enough?

I asked an elite triathlete the other day about her experience this past year and what it was like to FINALLY qualify to race in Kona. This was a long dream of hers. To make it to Kona. So what's next? She wants to go back and prove that she is faster than she demonstrated in October. Is it ever enough?

I sometimes wonder if I am too OCD about training. Do I take it too seriously? This is supposed to be a hobby but it has morphed into a lifestyle. Is that a positive thing? While I know this sport brings out the best in me at times, I know it brings out the worst too. I stare at numbers all day. I obsess about the Ironman and how fast I want to go this season. I analyze my workouts looking for signs of improvement. I look at others training and wonder why I am not going faster. Is it ever enough?

This sport is all about the pursuit of perfection...having and executing the perfect plan on race day. You need a number of things to go your way. You need to adjust to all the unforeseen problems. And even then you still need an amount of luck. Say at the end of the day you beat your goal. You baste in your triumph and glory. You awake the next day and ask yourself, can I still do it faster. Is it ever enough?